Reality Ain’t TV

If you’re not an artist but would like to be, you might believe that the days of full time creatives begin something like this:

Awaken with ideas and motivation to begin another day of your dreams.

Brush teeth and shower while pondering how to go about these great ideas.

Prepare and eat a healthy breakfast that nurtures the body as well as the soul.

Wave to family members who totally understand your desire to be left undisturbed by anything, lest the great ideas in your highly intelligent right brain evaporate before you can jot them down.

Drift into the studio and begin working while listening to the birds sing.

Create work that flows effortlessly and works the way you want it…at least the second time.

Break for that second cup of tea and pet adoring dogs who never ever fight with each other.

Drift back to work with increased inspiration.

Work goes well.

Make tons of progress even with lunch and afternoon tea breaks.

Admire what all you accomplished before drifting off to dinner that someone else has prepared.

Eat

Sleep

Rinse 

Repeat

Good luck finding that.

If you’re not an artist and don’t want to become one, then you’re view of what a full time creative’s days are like might be more informed by media hype. Something along the lines of coffee and cigarettes for breakfast around noon, procrastination, followed by unfathomable bouts of genius then alcohol chasers alone in deep despair alternated by some days of alcohol chasers while regaling sycophants with tales of said genius. Both versions of this denouement are followed by passing out before facing the next day’s hangover.

That’s the model I grew up observing, and I definitely don’t recommend it.

If you make your living as an artist, a solo-preneur, innovator, and multitasker then maybe you can relate to my typical day reality:

Awaken with ideas and motivation that get me out of bed in the hope of having time to paint amidst all my other work.

Let dogs out.

Grab parts from the dish drying rack and assemble the dogs’ water fountain (made for cats) because the princesses prefer moving water, and it’s this or the possibly toxic, ever enticing, backyard fish pond water.

Let dogs in to eat.

Brush teeth and shower while pondering how to go about these great ideas.

Let dogs out.

Let dogs in.

Hang out in the kitchen for longer than I meant to with my husband, who made me a smoothie, because even after all these years, he’s still my best friend, and well, because somewhere between waking with inspiration and dealing with dogs I got tired again.

Go into studio, sit down at drawing table.

Immediately get up from drawing table because I remember I have an international order to fill, and if I get the order processed before my son leaves for class, it will go out today.

Forget he’ll have another chance to drop it as the post office this afternoon so I don’t really need to panic in order to give good customer service.

Log into to PayPal to generate the shipping label. 

Discover PayPal’s shipping system I’ve been using for 13 years (Thirteen. Years.) has been changed to ShipStation.

Discover shipping a small Priority Mail package to Europe will now cost me $96. Not an express mail package. 2 week delivery. Small. $96.

Decide this must be a glitch.

Try again.

$96.

Decide to see if the old PayPal shipping interface is still there somewhere.

Discover it’s not.

Try ShipStation again.

$96.

Copy and paste the entire address into all the little fields on the USPS site.

Discover their shipping rate is $40. No PayPal negotiated rate of the usual $35.

Try ShipStation again.

$96.

Hit the chat option in the lower right corner.

Type in my problem. Copy what I type to the clipboard.

Wade through all the “not helpful…this does not answer my question” options until I finally get a person.

Paste in my previously typed problem so I don’t have to type it all over again.

This is not my first 3rd party website integration rodeo.

Wait while Brian the CSR researches my problem.

Open another browser window and investigate if DHL is an option.

Copy paste in the address into another set of fields again.

Discover DHL would cost $91.

Check back with Brian who has asked for a screenshot of my problem.

Regenerate the label in ShipStation yet again.

Take and send Brian a screenshot of my problem.

Research 3rd party shipping plugins for my WordPress site because, nice as Brian is, I’ve decided I hate ShipStation.

Discover I could get a better rate if I sign up with another shipping partner that integrates with my website’s store.

Check back to see that Brian is still researching.

Select and install a 3rd party shipping partner.

Set up an account with said partner.

Attempt to integrate their plugin with my site.

Attempt to integrate their plugin with my site.

Check back to see that Brian is still researching and is asking for my patience.

Attempt to integrate their plugin with my site.

Attempt to integrate their plugin with my site.

Attempt to integrate their plugin with my site.

That repeating sentence is not a typo.

Attempt to integrate their plugin with my site.

Attempt to integrate their plugin with my site.

Check back to see that Brian is still researching and is asking for even more of my patience.

Attempt to integrate their plugin with my site.

Decide none of this tech drama is why I dedicated my life to the arts.

Give up and buy the $40 label from USPS.

Check back to see that Brian has not been able to solve the problem but has escalated it to a higher level of researchers.

Try 3 times to print the label directly from USPS because it either gets cut off or prints too small.

Log back into PayPal to print the packing slip.

Finish packing the order because, while tech drama is not why I do what I do, delighting customers and collectors is very much a part of why I do what I do.

Move back to the drawing table to start my morning journaling even though I got up before 8am, and it is now nearly noon.

Wonder when I’m going to fit in all of today’s tasks.

Pull out a painting in progress and open my watercolor palette.

Paint a single, 3 millimeter long hairline vein in a tiny flower petal that is part of a huge floral border that surrounds the painting’s subject.

Feel pawing at my feet.

Let dogs out.

Walk back to drawing table.

Hear incessant barking.

Walk back outside.

Discover what my dogs really want is for me to come outside and play.

Get derailed for the next 15 minutes, doing what I can’t even remember now, but I don’t think it involved much playtime.

Go back to flowers awaiting hairlines.

Paint the hairline veins in 3 more flowers!

Stop to answer the Ring app on my phone.

See delivery person waiting on my porch, presumably for a signature.

Freak out that I can’t make him hear me via Ring on my phone.

Move as fast as my tendinitis inflamed ankles will carry me to the other end of the house.

Discover our 100+ year old front door knob isn’t working because it’s come off the spindle.

Meet my husband who was in the middle of a phone call and who has heard me but not Ring even though his office is near the front door.

Limp back to studio

Go back to flowers.

Yes, a few more hairlines and much more shipping drama then this email:

Hi Victoria, Thanks for taking the time to talk with me today.

At this time, our developers are working on a fix for international presets. I do apologize for the inconvenience. I recommend shipping directly via USPS until this issue is resolved.

Please don’t hesitate to reach back out if you have any other issues or questions and we’ll be happy to help.

Best regards,
Brian

Apparently, I am the first person ever to use ShipStation via PayPal for an international order. 

This was never the kind of innovator I intended to be.